The More I Bleed The More I Feel Alive

Is there anything wrong with Love?
Is there any special circumstance to a man to be falling in Love
Or does it need a special condition to feel Love?
If the answer is no,
then why the hell people judge and said this love is wrong and that love is not?
I think there's nothing wrong about Love.
Love never goes wrong.
Because if it does (even sometimes) then God will not created it at the first place
God will forbid human to feel Love because it will drag human into a bad things or put man into a wrong decision in their life.

But it's not..
God still give us this beautiful gift called "Love"
that enable us to see the beauty inside the others
Because we love someone not because they're beautiful but they are beautiful in our eyes because we love them..

So,
how dare people said that there's is such thing as "forbidden love"
and people often said it is not Love because it had special condition,
a very rare one..unusual one..
When I heard them said it, I just wish they can have it one day in their life so they know that is nothing wrong about Love.

It came out from nowhere and we can predict it
No one can chose who will they fall for
or when the Love will strike and get you..
Because when it comes, u really can't resist it
no matter how hard u try to cling to something you believe in your whole life
Love just change your point of view of everything!
It's the thing that can make a blind man see,
a deaf hear songs, paralyzed people can walk, a dumb can talk..
Maybe even an Atheis believe in God

Even if the others think your Love is worthless
Just keep your head up high and believe
That Love will always find the way,
and Love alone will triumph..


Cheers,
=)'Che

Beauty Pageant

Ketika menonton salah satu kontes kecantikan atau Putri putri-an di salah satu televisi swasta di Indonesia,
di kepalaku terfikirkan satu hal.
Apa bedanya kontes kecantikan ini dengan kontes2 kecantikan binatang peliharaan atau kontes2 ternak?
Sama-sama mencari pemenang diantara sekian banyak peserta.
Berusaha menunjukkan bahwa dirinya jauh lebih unggul dibandingkan yang lain.
Dengan memamerkan segala apa yang dia punyai.

Bedanya adalah yang satu kontes diikuti oleh manusia,
dan yang satunya diikuti oleh binatang...
Yah, manusia tentu saja yang diuji adalah pengetahuannya walaupun pengetahuan itu ga bisa disebutkan sebagai sesuatu hal yang luar biasa.
Karna tidak ada pertanyaan aljabar, matematika, logaritma, biologi, fisika dan kimia disana...yang ada hanyalah pengetahuan umum.
Malahan lebih banyak tentang moral dan sebagainya,lah.
Selain itu, mereka berusaha memukau para juri dengan senyuman, dandanan tebal, baju hasil karya perancang ternama yang tentunya mahal, perhiasan yang mentereng..
Itu kontes kecantikan ala manusia

Kalau untuk binatang, misalnya katakan saja binatang peliharaan
yang diuji adalah kepatuhannya, caranya menuruti perintah,
kegesitan dan kelincahannya, kebersihannya..
Kalau untuk ternak yah kesehatan dan bibit-nya..asal muasalnya..

Hmmm...sekilas dilihat sepertinya sama aja,ya?
Sama-sama menjual apa saja yang dia punya untuk memenangkan pertandingan.
Dengan alasan Putri yang terpilih pada kontes kecantikan ini akan menjadi duta dan wakil dari negaranya untuk bertanding ke negara lain,
ada juga dengan alasan sebagai duta pariwisata, mengiklankan tentang negaranya ke negara2 yang lain...
Ga masuk akal, kenapa untuk mengiklankan pariwisata aja mesti pake pemilihan dan kontes-kontes segala?
Emangnya ga ada perempuan dengan tampang biasa-biasa saja yang bisa jadi lebih pintar dari mereka, hanya karena tidak menang kontes maka dianggap tidak pantas untuk menjadi wakil mengiklankan negaranya?

Hanya bagi banyak orang, hal-hal seperti ini malah dianggap suatu hal yang baik, yang akan mamicu para wanita untuk memiliki "beauty, brain and behaviour"
Lha, ga mesti untuk ikutan kontes kecantikan dong...
Memang kita, para wanita, harus belajar kok dengan semangat untuk diri kita sendiri
Karena ga ada yang lebih menyenangkan daripada kenyataan bahwa kita bangga akan kemampuan diri sendiri dan itu akan membuat perempuan menjadi jauh lebih cantik dan sexy dibandingkan dengan putri-putri berbikini dan berbaju rancangan designer terkenal..
Because the beauty is in the brain..

Cheers,
=)'Che Pasaribu

L.O.V.E

Love is,
the way you look at me
and how you blushed when I look to you closely,
how the compliment make you feel funny and can't look me in the eye

Love is,
more than just saying "I love you,honey.."
but it's when your eyes saying that you really care about me
and how you're going through hell just to be with me
despise all the consequences..
just to spending time with me
and I,really, am so grateful to have you as mine..

Love is,
when touches speak louder than words
you don't have to talk so much to say those words
just hold my hand and I know how your feelings..

Love is,
when I found my safe place in your arms
just cuddling beside you, I feel heaven..

Love is,
when you found out that all the memories with that someone can make you going through the hardest day in your life

Love is,
when you talk about your dreams..opinion on everything around
and how we can 'brainstorming' each other,shares our point of view,
share silly and unimportant things just to laugh at..
and how amazed I am to found out that we really connected in our every single brain cell ;)

Love is,
how I can be myself when I am around you
I don't have to be someone else and you make me more proud for who I am

Love is,
when everything seems to be impossible
but with you even the impossible can be possible

Love is,
how u changed my life...make me a better person in a special kind of way
a way that no one can understand but me and you
For other I may be a fool and think this is wrong
but I found it real and this is right thing to do!

Love is,
when I felt perfection in it.
The pain and happiness at the same time
but even the pain can seems beautiful with you.
I feel complete.

Love is you.
No other.


Cheers,
=)'Che

Need A Revolution

I never asked for this kind of life
I just wish my life be a little more easier
Things just get more simple than this
U see, I used to think that "go with the flow" kind of life
is the best way of life to live on
But then now I realized,
without any plans and goals in life
we just get screwed at the end
And I am aware of this now
I just wish that everything can't be too late for a better life now
Imagine me in this age did not have a stable life yet
Did not have any achievements in life
I even didn't have a steady relationship
What I have now, I don't know what I called it
I love him so much but
the words "forever" seems to be impossible now between me and him..
I just wish I have more attention of my future back at that day
I just wish that I have more passion for my future
Instead of doing nothing and being lazy all the time
I still remember my teacher used to say to me,
that I am really can be something if only I paid more attention
and work harder...she sees alot of good things in me
She said I got something inside of me that can turned me into
anything I wanna be.
Unfortunately, she is right with that and I am neglected her
I am not taking her good advice
Instead of running everthing in my life into a great things
I just start ruined my life
And now, if I said my life is sucks...
I got no one to blame but me..
It's all me...it's all my fault
No one can responsible for what you become in your life but yourself, right?
I regret my life now
I regret every single chance I blew to be a better person than I am now
Did I still have a chance to change and have a better life?
It's not easy for me to make a revolution in life now
but, I think it's worth trying..

Cheers,
=)'Che

It's all about you

It's you,
that i am thinking now
That always cross my mind lately
And it's you,
every time I feel sad and unhappy
I just wanna share every feelings I have.
The time I feel so stuck with things in life
it's you I am calling
and it's you that can always make me feel better.

Even sometimes you laugh at my unfortunate event
but, deep inside I know u didn't mean to be cruel.
And when I cry,
I know that it's you who will always lend me your shoulder
and a safe place to cry
At the times of fears and anxiety
holding your hands can cast away all that feelings.

No matter how silly and goofy I am,
u like it about me
It is a great feeling I have now
knowing someone can love me as much as u do
and I will never get alone again

It's you at my inbox every morning
a simple message like "morning, honey"
or just a call to start my day
You really can make my day beautiful for just
that simple things and no one can make me feel bad for a day.

And it's you just when I just arrived home from work
with all your attention ask how my day was..
did I have a good day or a nice meal
And we can talked about everything and anything without feel tired
There's always you in my inbox, call log and chat log..
I just never get enough of you
Never bored share stories with you..
And I hope I never get bore..until we grew old

It's you I wanna spend the rest of my day with
and God knows
that all my days now from the time I woke up until
I go to bed at night,
it is all about you..
And even all this words not good enough to represent
my deep feeling for you.
I just want u to know that I love you.
So much.
With all my heart.


Cheers,
=)'Che

Barca VS MU, 2-0

Pagi ini masih terasa mengantuk..
sepertinya mau menutup saja mata ini
Harusnya tak ku ikuti kata hatiku untuk ikutan nonton bareng di Sutos tadi malem,ya?
Sutos = Subulussalam Town Square memang bukan nama resminya
Tapi karena itu adalah tempat nongkrong satu2nya yang merupakan lapangan di tengah kota dan jika malam tiba dimanfaatkan sebagai pusat makanan dan jajanan pasar,
maka kami menyebutnya Subulussalam Town Square ;)

Sebenarnya tadi malam aku sudah sempat tidur-tidur ayam,
tetapi karena masih terus lanjut sms-an dengan seseorang
aku belum benar-benar terlelap
Sorenya memang Ira mengajak untuk nonton bareng juga
tadinya I said no, tapi entah kenapa aku terfikir untuk mengambil foto2 dari suasana disana dan juga pengen tau suasana disana seperti apa

Jadilah akhirnya aku jam 1 kurang berangkat dari kost,
ke kantor ambil motor dan jemput Ira
Ternyata sudah ada disana beberapa teman kantor juga
sehingga suasana lebih menyenangkan dari yang aku bayangkan
Sambil ditemani bandrek dan martabak aku mengamati keadaan
Wah, yang perempuan hanya aku dan Ira...
hahahahaha...ada beberapa ibu-ibu sih yang berjualan tetapi mereka segera tutup dan melipat tendanya karena sudah jam 1.30 pagi.

Suasana menonton di lapangan dengan layar lebar mengingatkan aku akan masa-masa kecilku di Tebing Tinggi Deli Serdang
Di kota kecil itu jarang sekali ada hiburan
Hanya ada sekali dua sirkus datang ke kota dan terkadang ada juga hiburan layar tancap di hari-hari libur nasional
Aku jadi kangen masa-masa itu..
Segera setelah pertandingan mulai memanas, aku hunting foto..

Wah, ternyata dugaanku salah
tadinya aku mau mulai beraksi setelah pertandingan mulai karena aku tidak nyaman dengan tatapan orang dan pandangan mereka yang melihat kemana aku berjalan.
Sangat tidak nyaman..apalagi saat beberapa kali tanpa sadar aku lupa mematikan flash light kamera ku, banyak mata memandang dan merasa terganggu..
Okay, guys...sorry, my mistake ;P

Tidak banyak foto yang kudapat
hanya beberapa...tapi cukup menarik dan mewakili keadaan di malam itu
Walau sempat terhadang gerimis yang turun tapi semangat menonton bintang pujaan beraksi dilapangan tak tergoyahkan.
Yah, ternyata kehidupan di kota kecil seperti Subulussalam tidak begitu buruk
Banyak nilai-nilai kebersamaan yang sudah sangat jarang kita dapatkan di kota-kota besar jaman sekarang dimana masyarakatnya cenderung individualis..

"...love you, with a love you've never been loved before..."

have you ever
not intend to falling in love but the love just fall on your lap?

have you ever
needed someone so bad until u cry?

have you ever
try to reach for someone but they just out of reach?

have you ever
had to shut your mouth when all you wanna do is talk?

have you ever
misses someone so bad until it hurts?

have you ever
can't think straight when you near to someone?

have you ever
try to say goodbye and don't look back but you just kept coming?

have you ever
want to get rid the love but you just can't?

have you ever
try your best to ignore all the boundaries but it looks even bigger and bigger than before?

have you ever
hope that you would have a opportunity to just walk and holding hands with the one that u love in public but you just can't?

have you ever
reconsider a reincarnation just because you can't be with the one that you love so much in this life?

have you ever
not so insensitive, selfish and hurt everyone just so you can get a happiness in your life?

have you ever
want to be with one person for the rest of your life but you can't because they already belongs to someone else?

well, I do..
and believe me there's nothing good about all this
too much hurt and pain..
but I just can't walk away..

is it fate's idea?

So u have my heart now.
I told u please be careful
because I don't think I can loved anyone again
not since the last one still hurts

I only have this one
And it belongs to u now

But, it doesn't mean that u can play with it
or u can use it for fun.
coz it is not fun at all to me

I don't know did u do this on purpose?
or did u just didn't serious from the beginning?
well,
one thing I do know
It hurts...really hurts.

u promise to take a good care of it
but at the same day u broken me down
i am not mad, just dissapointed

Eve's Note.

Eve got insomnia.
Lately she always stays up late
she just can't shut her eyelids and dream away
So many things running around in her mind
Eve is trying to figure out what is happening but nothing came to her mind.
Maybe because it is just to complicated, she said
Her life use to be so simple but look at her now, so different.

Everything that she's been build these years,
her dreams, her goals, her way of life, everything is a mess now
she just can't help it, she is so drown away
But, the strange part about these Eve is,
even she is aware that everything sooner or later must fall apart,
she is not afraid to do what her heart said.

Eve, follow her heart
chose her path now and eat that forbidden fruit..
She just want to be happy and she indeed deserved to love and be loved
and in the name of love she is now trying to breaking all the brick..
one...
by one...

Just when she gave her heart away
she begin to feel pain...so deep,
she just feel more and more fragile than before.

So many things she want to say but her lip are sealed
all the words that have been spinning around her head can't get out from her mouth
Silence is the only thing left.
She felt so weak because just when she is want to hold him and make him stay for the night,
she remember all the boundaries.
And she just hold her self down.
Aware that just nothing she can do
n o t h i n g.
Even a simple words like "I love you, please stay.."

"Ketika cinta memanggilmu, ikutlah dengannya meskipun jalan yang harus kau tempuh keras dan terjal
Ketika sayap –sayapnya merengkuhmu, serahkan dirimun padanya
Meskipun pedang –pedang yang ada dibalik sayap –sayap itu mungkin akan melukaimu
Dan jika ia bicara padamu, percayalah meskipun suaranya akan membuyarkan
Mimpi- mimpimu bagaikan angin utara yang memporak-porandakan pertamanan

Cinta akan memahkotai dan menyalibmu
Menumbuhkan dan memangkasmu
Mengangkatmu naik, membelai ujung –ujung rantingmu yang gemulai
Dan membawanya ke matahari
Tapi cinta juga akan mencengkeram, menggoyang akar- akarmu hingga tercabut dari bumi…”


Cheers,
=)'Che

Aku Mengerti Perasaan Hawa

Waktu pertama aku membaca kisah Adam dan Hawa dan bagaimana Hawa tanpa pikir panjang menyambut tawaran Iblis untuk memakan Buah Kehidupan itu yang akhirnya membawa dia kepada kesengsaraan, aq berfikir, "Alangkah bodohnya Hawa ini, dia mempertaruhkan semua kehidupan nyamannya untuk mencicipi buah yang jelas2 sudah dilarang Tuhan untuk dimakan"
Aku memposisikan diriku sebagai Hawa dimana waktu itu semua kebutuhannya tercukupi, mulai dari makanan yg tidak habis-habisnya, rumah dan lingkungan yang nyaman, kedekatannya dengan Tuhan, belum lagi suami yang ganteng dan setia (ganteng krn memang Adam adalah satu2nya lelaki tentunya ;p, setia karna memang cuma Hawa perempuan di dunia saat itu,hihihi..) dan semua kemudahan yg diperolehnya selama berada di Taman Eden waktu itu.
Apa lagi yang kurang??
Tapi waktu itu tetap dia menerima tawaran Iblis yg jelas2 udah dilarang Tuhan.

Tapi, sekarang aq berfikir
Mungkin saja Hawa saat itu merasa sangat sangat bosan dan kesepian...
Waktu itu Adam sedang tidak ada di sisinya, Hawa sedang berjalan2 sendirian..mungkin dia sedang memikirkan banyak hal tapi dia tak punya teman untuk berbagi dan berdiskusi.
Iblis melihat kesempatan itu dan menggunakannya, Iblis tau apa yang menjadi kegelisahan Hawa..
Awalnya mungkin Iblis mengajak Hawa berbincang-bincang, bertukar pikiran dan pada saat yang tepat Iblis memasukkan pemikirannya kepada Hawa yg saat itu merasa kesepian dan bimbang..

Aku mengerti perasaan Hawa.
Kesepian kadang bisa membuat orang berfikir yang tidak-tidak.
Melakukan tindakan diluar kebiasaannya, mengambil keputusan yang sama sekali berbeda dengan keputusan yang biasa dia ambil.
Tidak berfikir jernih dan gamang.
Bahkan dalam tahap sampai bisa melanggar prinsipnya sendiri.

Pantaslah ungkapan yang menyatakan "no man is an island"
Gak ada seorang manusia pun yang tahan hidup sendirian tanpa sosialisasi dengan sekitarnya.
Sulit memang berfikir jernih ditengah kegamangan..
Jadi, sekarang aku tidak menyalahkan Hawa lagi ;)


"Eve, allowed the temptation enter her soul, and was blessed with humanity.
She feel pain, hurt, happiness sometimes, sadness a lot of time.
Otherwise she could deny the snake and would life glorified with divinity.
Would, you think, she rather live in Eden with singing fairies than to live on Earth with her many offsprings..?"
(text message from someone)

Cheers,
=)'Che