will you marry me?

He came to my house on the day after valentine day,
Suprised me with this simple yet romantic poem..

I know..
It'd be spirit of my day
Seeing you first in the morning
It'd be peaceful to kiss you
At night before we sleep
And it'd be a blessing for me
If you let me live
In this beautiful world
Along my life
Side by side to your heart
Will you marry me?

sToLen

Just from the very first "hello"
I just knew that there's gonna be something between us
Even though it took time
but, u caught my attention that day
and I know that we're not gonna be the same

As time flew
I know I couldn't go wrong
We are much the same, you and I
spend a lot of time together
with that endless conversation
and u never failed in make me laugh
that's how the love came
sadly, you killed it before it grows..
although I really can't understand why and where did I go wrong
U know, u have stolen my dreams that day

And after all the month,
my ignorence is crushed just because a song,
just because a line or two I heard on movie
just because I dream of u

And my dead brain cell recall all the memories
the laughter and the fun things we did once
such a happy day we had back then

And I continue mourning
by watching your fb profile, photos and stuff..
Is there a room for me there?
Can we just start over?
Or at least, can I know why?
but anyway,
Thanks for the memories.

Cheers,
=)'Che

It's all about you

It's you,
that i am thinking now
That always cross my mind lately
And it's you,
every time I feel sad and unhappy
I just wanna share every feelings I have.
The time I feel so stuck with things in life
it's you I am calling
and it's you that can always make me feel better.

Even sometimes you laugh at my unfortunate event
but, deep inside I know u didn't mean to be cruel.
And when I cry,
I know that it's you who will always lend me your shoulder
and a safe place to cry
At the times of fears and anxiety
holding your hands can cast away all that feelings.

No matter how silly and goofy I am,
u like it about me
It is a great feeling I have now
knowing someone can love me as much as u do
and I will never get alone again

It's you at my inbox every morning
a simple message like "morning, honey"
or just a call to start my day
You really can make my day beautiful for just
that simple things and no one can make me feel bad for a day.

And it's you just when I just arrived home from work
with all your attention ask how my day was..
did I have a good day or a nice meal
And we can talked about everything and anything without feel tired
There's always you in my inbox, call log and chat log..
I just never get enough of you
Never bored share stories with you..
And I hope I never get bore..until we grew old

It's you I wanna spend the rest of my day with
and God knows
that all my days now from the time I woke up until
I go to bed at night,
it is all about you..
And even all this words not good enough to represent
my deep feeling for you.
I just want u to know that I love you.
So much.
With all my heart.


Cheers,
=)'Che

aRRRgghh..!!

Okay,
here is the thing....
I am now in a relationship with someone since 6 years ago,
I am sorry not to mention this man in our every conversations
but I don't thing you guys ready for him yet
And yes, it's getting serious now and he already asked me to marry him
but he ask my patience first, wait till him graduate
No, it's not like he is younger than me!
It's just...let's just said he is too late to realize that education is so important nowadays..
And I am encourage him to do it so he wont regret it in his life.

The fact is,
I am getting so deeply in love with him everyday...
and I am so not ready yet to take him home because I know the last time he came,
he screwed it up and make Dad hate him..
I don't understand how can Dad hate that nice and loving guy just because he is not Bataknese...how??

You see...
I am already tried to go out with other guys,
dated them...have a real realtionship and tried be serious with them
but it seems that I am always ended up attached with him again
And you know,
It just sometimes didn't make sense how a man could have that patience for me
You know how stubborn I can be, right?
But he always be there for me
Sometimes I just can't take that anymore
how can I am gain a big love from this man
A man who always nurture me and care for me even be there when I cheated on him?
I don't deserve him...
But he makes me believe that true love do exist and
every people have a right to love and be loved!

Well, that's it Mom...Dad...
so, please...
don't try to match me up with some other man again,
I already have my own..

Cheers,
=)'che

on V-day 2009

happy v-day, guys...
it's the first time for me to celebrate it alone,
i mean...REALLY alone,
it doesn't mean that single means u're alone
it's not true!
i usually did celebrate v-day when i'm single
and it's fun!

but what i mean is this,
i'm out of nowhere
i am far away from home
from the one i love and from everybody i care about
and cares about me
i got no one to share this day,
this feeling here

but fortunately,
this v-day didn't take a big effect here
coz here...they just didn't celebrate v-day
they said it's just western tradition
they just didn't really care
well, it helps me to overcome this sadness inside

but,
for me..it's become a tradition,
at least i can gather with some friends...
had lunch together,
tells some jokes and stories
share some feelings
then at night we just go out with our boyfriend

there's a few years i celebrate v-day with my boyfriend,
but..because he just not a guy who gives-roses-and-chocolate
so i didn't get one..we just go on dinner, talking and laughing..
but i remember one v-day,
he ask me out..then we go to the cinema (i forgot the movie)
and when we done i saw all the girls hold a rose in their hand
and hold their boyfriend's hand in the other hand
well, i did..hold his hand..but i didn't get the rose,
i didn't sure i want one but then i just spit it out
"i never get a rose on v-day"
as soon as i said it, he run into a store and get me one!
he said " i thought u didn't want one"
and then i blushed..
yes, i blushed..something that very rarely happen to me
and u know,
when i come home that night i try to hide it from my parents and family
coz i didn't want them to make a joke on me! ;p

and so many nice stories i had on v-day
i just wish i create many of them ahead...
now,
i just miss my family, friends and him :(

Cheers,
=)'che

six years and still...

Today is april 15th 2009,
right about six years ago I met and fall deeply in love with someone
He is my class mate at senior high
back in that day, he and I not really a good friend
We even enemy for a while...
But when we graduated, we ceased and try to get along with each other
After a while..few years later we going on separated way
I'm here in Medan and he was on Bandung
But the destiny bring us back together

Accidentally, we bump into each other in a Mall where he used to work
he said usually he not that kind of friendly guy
In fact, usually he avoid meeting his old friend because he is a very shy guy
Then after that, all the old feelings come back
I just feels safe when I am with him
Maybe because he is an old friend so I don't have to be pretend I'm someone else,
I can play goofy around him
just let my true crazy self go and he can understands me.

And after a while right at April 15th six years ago
we have this relationship
He had been my companion, my true friend, also my best boyfriend ever..
he can see right through me, know my deepest feeling,
care for me and always taking good care of me
He encourages me to be a better person and I am also doing the same thing with him
He always brag me to his family and friends...
always said I am the most beautiful women he ever met
(which I know it's all lie..but it's okay, I kinda like it ;p)
He knows me inside and outside,
he definately knows when time to speak and better be silent
he understands that when I am at "PMS" stage I'll get mellow, very sensitive and always angry to him with no reason
But he is still have patience and be there for me
And we do have same interest in musics...films...artist...vehicle
and he is such a good brainstormer.

In the 6 years of our relationships, there is always ups and downs
My family did not want us to be together,
especially my Dad...for some fool reason Dad said just because he is not Bataknese...
well, I still did not understand that crazy-stupid reason
for me, people can't choose born to be some Bataknese or Javanese, right??
And I really did not believe that some ethnic have this bad attitude,
for me it's individual...for example, they don't become a lazy person just because he is Bataknese..and else..

So, we did had some breakups..so many till I can't count it!
And at the end I said "well let just this relationship flows, just let us see where it will end and where it will bring us..."
After all these years he is still a very great companion for me...
Is there love?
Well, I must admit...I do love him and strangely I still today.

If u think I didn't tries to get involved with another man well u're wrong!
I do tried to have a relationship with other man, can't count it how many but it all didn't work!
I don't know how or why,
it just I finally found myself with him again
Well, I gotta tell you its not easy to found someone who really care, sincere and just accept and love you just the way you are
And I still have this butterfly when I'm with him or when he hold my hands
Even I made myself clear that we just a friend,
he still consider me as a the only women in his life,
definately the one he want to spend the rest of his life with...
Whatever I do, he said he just can't stop his feeling for me
well, how many guys will told you that thing and still cling to it after years?
Even when u do bad and ugly things to him but he just still wanting you?

Well, I do know one man...
And I just hope he'll be the last one for me..
So, please be kind..God.

Cheers,
=)'che