Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Barca VS MU, 2-0

Pagi ini masih terasa mengantuk..
sepertinya mau menutup saja mata ini
Harusnya tak ku ikuti kata hatiku untuk ikutan nonton bareng di Sutos tadi malem,ya?
Sutos = Subulussalam Town Square memang bukan nama resminya
Tapi karena itu adalah tempat nongkrong satu2nya yang merupakan lapangan di tengah kota dan jika malam tiba dimanfaatkan sebagai pusat makanan dan jajanan pasar,
maka kami menyebutnya Subulussalam Town Square ;)

Sebenarnya tadi malam aku sudah sempat tidur-tidur ayam,
tetapi karena masih terus lanjut sms-an dengan seseorang
aku belum benar-benar terlelap
Sorenya memang Ira mengajak untuk nonton bareng juga
tadinya I said no, tapi entah kenapa aku terfikir untuk mengambil foto2 dari suasana disana dan juga pengen tau suasana disana seperti apa

Jadilah akhirnya aku jam 1 kurang berangkat dari kost,
ke kantor ambil motor dan jemput Ira
Ternyata sudah ada disana beberapa teman kantor juga
sehingga suasana lebih menyenangkan dari yang aku bayangkan
Sambil ditemani bandrek dan martabak aku mengamati keadaan
Wah, yang perempuan hanya aku dan Ira...
hahahahaha...ada beberapa ibu-ibu sih yang berjualan tetapi mereka segera tutup dan melipat tendanya karena sudah jam 1.30 pagi.

Suasana menonton di lapangan dengan layar lebar mengingatkan aku akan masa-masa kecilku di Tebing Tinggi Deli Serdang
Di kota kecil itu jarang sekali ada hiburan
Hanya ada sekali dua sirkus datang ke kota dan terkadang ada juga hiburan layar tancap di hari-hari libur nasional
Aku jadi kangen masa-masa itu..
Segera setelah pertandingan mulai memanas, aku hunting foto..

Wah, ternyata dugaanku salah
tadinya aku mau mulai beraksi setelah pertandingan mulai karena aku tidak nyaman dengan tatapan orang dan pandangan mereka yang melihat kemana aku berjalan.
Sangat tidak nyaman..apalagi saat beberapa kali tanpa sadar aku lupa mematikan flash light kamera ku, banyak mata memandang dan merasa terganggu..
Okay, guys...sorry, my mistake ;P

Tidak banyak foto yang kudapat
hanya beberapa...tapi cukup menarik dan mewakili keadaan di malam itu
Walau sempat terhadang gerimis yang turun tapi semangat menonton bintang pujaan beraksi dilapangan tak tergoyahkan.
Yah, ternyata kehidupan di kota kecil seperti Subulussalam tidak begitu buruk
Banyak nilai-nilai kebersamaan yang sudah sangat jarang kita dapatkan di kota-kota besar jaman sekarang dimana masyarakatnya cenderung individualis..





















"...love you, with a love you've never been loved before..."

have you ever
not intend to falling in love but the love just fall on your lap?

have you ever
needed someone so bad until u cry?

have you ever
try to reach for someone but they just out of reach?

have you ever
had to shut your mouth when all you wanna do is talk?

have you ever
misses someone so bad until it hurts?

have you ever
can't think straight when you near to someone?

have you ever
try to say goodbye and don't look back but you just kept coming?

have you ever
want to get rid the love but you just can't?

have you ever
try your best to ignore all the boundaries but it looks even bigger and bigger than before?

have you ever
hope that you would have a opportunity to just walk and holding hands with the one that u love in public but you just can't?

have you ever
reconsider a reincarnation just because you can't be with the one that you love so much in this life?

have you ever
not so insensitive, selfish and hurt everyone just so you can get a happiness in your life?

have you ever
want to be with one person for the rest of your life but you can't because they already belongs to someone else?

well, I do..
and believe me there's nothing good about all this
too much hurt and pain..
but I just can't walk away..

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

is it fate's idea?

So u have my heart now.
I told u please be careful
because I don't think I can loved anyone again
not since the last one still hurts

I only have this one
And it belongs to u now

But, it doesn't mean that u can play with it
or u can use it for fun.
coz it is not fun at all to me

I don't know did u do this on purpose?
or did u just didn't serious from the beginning?
well,
one thing I do know
It hurts...really hurts.

u promise to take a good care of it
but at the same day u broken me down
i am not mad, just dissapointed

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Eve's Note.

Eve got insomnia.
Lately she always stays up late
she just can't shut her eyelids and dream away
So many things running around in her mind
Eve is trying to figure out what is happening but nothing came to her mind.
Maybe because it is just to complicated, she said
Her life use to be so simple but look at her now, so different.

Everything that she's been build these years,
her dreams, her goals, her way of life, everything is a mess now
she just can't help it, she is so drown away
But, the strange part about these Eve is,
even she is aware that everything sooner or later must fall apart,
she is not afraid to do what her heart said.

Eve, follow her heart
chose her path now and eat that forbidden fruit..
She just want to be happy and she indeed deserved to love and be loved
and in the name of love she is now trying to breaking all the brick..
one...
by one...

Just when she gave her heart away
she begin to feel pain...so deep,
she just feel more and more fragile than before.

So many things she want to say but her lip are sealed
all the words that have been spinning around her head can't get out from her mouth
Silence is the only thing left.
She felt so weak because just when she is want to hold him and make him stay for the night,
she remember all the boundaries.
And she just hold her self down.
Aware that just nothing she can do
n o t h i n g.
Even a simple words like "I love you, please stay.."

"Ketika cinta memanggilmu, ikutlah dengannya meskipun jalan yang harus kau tempuh keras dan terjal
Ketika sayap –sayapnya merengkuhmu, serahkan dirimun padanya
Meskipun pedang –pedang yang ada dibalik sayap –sayap itu mungkin akan melukaimu
Dan jika ia bicara padamu, percayalah meskipun suaranya akan membuyarkan
Mimpi- mimpimu bagaikan angin utara yang memporak-porandakan pertamanan

Cinta akan memahkotai dan menyalibmu
Menumbuhkan dan memangkasmu
Mengangkatmu naik, membelai ujung –ujung rantingmu yang gemulai
Dan membawanya ke matahari
Tapi cinta juga akan mencengkeram, menggoyang akar- akarmu hingga tercabut dari bumi…”



Cheers,
=)'Che

Aku Mengerti Perasaan Hawa

Waktu pertama aku membaca kisah Adam dan Hawa dan bagaimana Hawa tanpa pikir panjang menyambut tawaran Iblis untuk memakan Buah Kehidupan itu yang akhirnya membawa dia kepada kesengsaraan, aq berfikir, "Alangkah bodohnya Hawa ini, dia mempertaruhkan semua kehidupan nyamannya untuk mencicipi buah yang jelas2 sudah dilarang Tuhan untuk dimakan"
Aku memposisikan diriku sebagai Hawa dimana waktu itu semua kebutuhannya tercukupi, mulai dari makanan yg tidak habis-habisnya, rumah dan lingkungan yang nyaman, kedekatannya dengan Tuhan, belum lagi suami yang ganteng dan setia (ganteng krn memang Adam adalah satu2nya lelaki tentunya ;p, setia karna memang cuma Hawa perempuan di dunia saat itu,hihihi..) dan semua kemudahan yg diperolehnya selama berada di Taman Eden waktu itu.
Apa lagi yang kurang??
Tapi waktu itu tetap dia menerima tawaran Iblis yg jelas2 udah dilarang Tuhan.

Tapi, sekarang aq berfikir
Mungkin saja Hawa saat itu merasa sangat sangat bosan dan kesepian...
Waktu itu Adam sedang tidak ada di sisinya, Hawa sedang berjalan2 sendirian..mungkin dia sedang memikirkan banyak hal tapi dia tak punya teman untuk berbagi dan berdiskusi.
Iblis melihat kesempatan itu dan menggunakannya, Iblis tau apa yang menjadi kegelisahan Hawa..
Awalnya mungkin Iblis mengajak Hawa berbincang-bincang, bertukar pikiran dan pada saat yang tepat Iblis memasukkan pemikirannya kepada Hawa yg saat itu merasa kesepian dan bimbang..

Aku mengerti perasaan Hawa.
Kesepian kadang bisa membuat orang berfikir yang tidak-tidak.
Melakukan tindakan diluar kebiasaannya, mengambil keputusan yang sama sekali berbeda dengan keputusan yang biasa dia ambil.
Tidak berfikir jernih dan gamang.
Bahkan dalam tahap sampai bisa melanggar prinsipnya sendiri.

Pantaslah ungkapan yang menyatakan "no man is an island"
Gak ada seorang manusia pun yang tahan hidup sendirian tanpa sosialisasi dengan sekitarnya.
Sulit memang berfikir jernih ditengah kegamangan..
Jadi, sekarang aku tidak menyalahkan Hawa lagi ;)


"Eve, allowed the temptation enter her soul, and was blessed with humanity.
She feel pain, hurt, happiness sometimes, sadness a lot of time.
Otherwise she could deny the snake and would life glorified with divinity.
Would, you think, she rather live in Eden with singing fairies than to live on Earth with her many offsprings..?"

(text message from someone)

Cheers,
=)'Che

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Take me back to the start

Sitting here..
try to figure things out now
why in the world am I doing here anyway
then a song came to mind

Scientist by Coldplay,
oh, how I wish I can turn back the time
back to that day...
but this time I won't messed the things up
I would play it right from the beginning

I would take it slow like we have all the time in the world
I would not rush a thing,
yeah maybe a little push don't hurt anyone
It's better to take everything slow down but it will end up in something good instead of rushing things and end up bad...like before.

"...nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard,
oh, take me back to the start..."


(",) 'Che

Friday, May 15, 2009

Something Missing


...ada yang hilang dari perasaanku, yang terlanjur sudah kuberikan padamu...ternyata aku tak berarti tanpamu, berharap kau tetap disini...berharap dan berharap lagi..

Just receive a message on my inbox, and it's from you.
There's 2 song delivered...
1. Ada yang hilang by Ipank
2. Kisah by Boomerang

I thought last night is my one last cry, but the fact is these tears just keep coming down.
I thought losing u will be such a relief, but it's not.
I really feel the pain inside..and I can feel yours too.
I must go from this solitude of mine or I can be more crushed than before.
Instead of have a bright plan for tomorrow, i cry like there's no tomorrow for me.
I feel so lonely and losing a grip.
I need my family now.
I'm going home.


='( Che.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

what a loser..

I think I am a coward
And I am didn't shame of it because it is so damn true
Maybe for another people I am such a braver, got nothing to fear of
always speaks whatever comes to mind...
But, this case is different
not only I have no guts to speak to him, I even didn't have guts to saw him in the eye
Maybe I am just afraid that he will see my feeling right through my eyes

I am such a liar
pretend that I really have no feeling for him more than friend
Acting like I never have a special attention for him
and every time a friend tried to match maker us I just laugh out loud
and said it so impossible because I had no feeling for him
But deep down inside I do..and it's getting stronger everyday

I asked God today to take away this feeling of mine
I just can't live with this lie anymore
But, instead of dissapear this feeling keep on growing stronger everyday
makes me go insane..
Insane coz he just didn't have the same feeling as I do
and it hurts...really hurts

I usually be a person who always have a solution for this "love-sick" thing
but, it's so ironic that I even can't help myself from this situation
Makes me think about what people said that love is just a game that u can't win
Is it?

And tonight, as "Put Your Head On My Shoulder" by Michael Buble keep repeating over and over again on my winamp playlist,
I just can't get him out from my mind
I even picture us sitting next to each other, holding hands, no words said just keep each other's heart warm with love..
aarrrgghh...!!
Can somebody tell me how to erase all these feeling, and all the memories in my head??

And the other side of my heart won't let me fight for his love
because my heart said that when he not call you,
or he didn't return all the affection you gave then he is just not that into you..
So, why bother?
Okay, heart...you and me...against this feeling..tonight!


Cheers,
=)'Che

a fool..??

When it comes to love no one can even think straight.
What is it about love, so people can be more like themselves?
What is it about love that can make even a very rational people can go insane?
What is it about love that can make a brave one be such a coward..
What is it about love that can make u can feel safe and insecure at the same time?
What is it about love that can make my feet weak, my strength dissapear, my tongue can't even say a word..all the chosen words dissapear.
Some say act speak louder than words, but for me sometimes I just can't act in front of a special person.
So my words represent it all.
That's why sometimes people misunderstood and think I am not serious..
Well, this is just me
I take time to say it all..

Cheers,
=)'Che